The Day I Hate!

Father’s Day 2013

There will NEVER be a day, this side of Heaven, that I will think Chad passing away was a good idea.  It doesn’t matter how many lives I touch, how many hearts are encouraged through our story, or how much God is glorified.  Yes, those are all the ways that God brings Romans 8:28 to fruition in our lives, and I am grateful for those, but the reality of today is just too painful.  Perhaps I should be more selfless . . . perhaps the glory of God should simply override a mama’s heart.  Forgive me, Lord, if the honesty of my humanity is just too real. 

But, the reality of today is that this mama’s heart weeps . . . on Father’s Day . . . for her three babies who never got to say good-bye, who never again get to say hello, and who on days like this just try to ignore the emotions that rise from deep within.   

Forever our years are indelibly marked by three days.  Three days each year that are wound up in the man Chad Schieber was to us.  His birthday, the day he died, and this day . . . the one where we honor our fathers . . . and yet ours is in Heaven. 

Someone suggested to me, recently, that it might be time to make Father’s Day a happy day.  No. 

362 days of the year we strive to make happy.  We put our pain down deep and make the most of our new normal.  362 days of the year we smile, we laugh, we dream, we live. 

But for 72 hours in each year we are brought face to face with the reality that we ARE living a new normal.  One which we never asked for and one which we never could have imagined.  72 hours each year we cannot ignore the pain which lives deep within.  72 hours each year we come face to face with a pain we have learned to manage and overcome the other 8,688 hours of the year. 

So please forgive me, if for a measly 72 hours each year I honestly say . . . this is a day I hate!

3 Responses to The Day I Hate!

  • Sheila Simerson says:

    Sarah and family,

     There is certainly nothing wrong with that!    We had a young man here this weekend that just lost his dad to cancer a few short months ago so my husband made a point of not making a big deal of it being Father's Day Sunday out of respect for this young man.    Our Pastor just shared within the message Sunday that there are days we just have to be real with God.   And that certainly means when we are angry or hurt about a circumstance in our lives.    After all there was anger at the sight of moneymakers in the Temple.    There was a why (must this cup pass from Me)   So hate the 3 days that hurt so much cause sometimes that is the only way to be human and to seek God's help to get you through.   Many blessings to you and your sweet children my friend!    Sheila



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