The Day I Hate!
Father’s Day 2013
There will NEVER be a day, this side of Heaven, that I will think Chad passing away was a good idea. It doesn’t matter how many lives I touch, how many hearts are encouraged through our story, or how much God is glorified. Yes, those are all the ways that God brings Romans 8:28 to fruition in our lives, and I am grateful for those, but the reality of today is just too painful. Perhaps I should be more selfless . . . perhaps the glory of God should simply override a mama’s heart. Forgive me, Lord, if the honesty of my humanity is just too real.
But, the reality of today is that this mama’s heart weeps . . . on Father’s Day . . . for her three babies who never got to say good-bye, who never again get to say hello, and who on days like this just try to ignore the emotions that rise from deep within.
Forever our years are indelibly marked by three days. Three days each year that are wound up in the man Chad Schieber was to us. His birthday, the day he died, and this day . . . the one where we honor our fathers . . . and yet ours is in Heaven.
Someone suggested to me, recently, that it might be time to make Father’s Day a happy day. No.
362 days of the year we strive to make happy. We put our pain down deep and make the most of our new normal. 362 days of the year we smile, we laugh, we dream, we live.
But for 72 hours in each year we are brought face to face with the reality that we ARE living a new normal. One which we never asked for and one which we never could have imagined. 72 hours each year we cannot ignore the pain which lives deep within. 72 hours each year we come face to face with a pain we have learned to manage and overcome the other 8,688 hours of the year.
So please forgive me, if for a measly 72 hours each year I honestly say . . . this is a day I hate!